Jun 01 The Concept of Gracious Space
"Gracious" stands in courageous contrast to the "coarsening": in our society. We live in a time when many suffer the accelerated pace of life that demands efficiencies and justifies the erosion of relationships that most sustain and nourish our lives. Simultaneously, we undergo an escalation of violence in political and entertainment media along with the hardening of competitive polarizing forces relentlessly conspiring to determine who is included and who is excluded.
The goal is to teach individuals and groups how to deal with conflicts, difficult issues and divergent viewpoints. We can all use some gracious space. Today's world is fast and complex. Problems are often connected to each other in puzzling ways requiring systematic response. At one time we enjoyed long lunch hours and time to chat with neighbors from the front porch. In these fast-forward times, relationships can suffer and opportunities for creative dialogue are often snuffed by deadlines and over booked schedules. We all need a time and place to slow down and listen to ourselves and others.
Creating Gracious Space means attending to the physical space in terms of comfort and aesthetics. It also becomes a way of speaking, described as a "holding environment", creating possibilities for people to trust and be vulnerable so that we can be healed. Explore the concept of The Stranger": The importance of hospitality to the stranger is rooted in an ancient wisdom spanning many cultures. In today's world, we know justice is a matter of who is included and who is excluded in the dialogue. When our encounter with the stranger is truly gracious, an empathetic bond across differences is formed and resolution is made possible.
Please read below for the sharing that has come out from each of the small groups. If you would like to learn more about Gracious Space, the book is available in the Church Office for $8.
Comments are welcomed and encouraged. However, offensive comments or personal attacks are not permitted. We can disagree with each other and still be respectful. Postings should:
- ENRICH the discussion;
- ENGENDER thoughtful, on-subject dialogue;
- ENCOURAGE all segments of the audience to participate.
We look forward to the further exploration of Gracious Space with you.
Robert Turner
2 Comments
Reader Comments (2)
What if...one Sunday we all made out name tags identifying the parts of Plymouth we worked with and introduced ourselves as that? How about BIG CONTAINERS outside the sanctuary in the lobby to put our "baggage" so we entered more fully into the presence of God and each other. Held up a mirror every time we said "Plymouth". Monthly, the Forum hour became a place of conversation with table captains, sponsored by council and boards, to encourage conversation and cross-pollination. The Herald celebrated the works of a committee, member or staff, or featured a "Did You Know..." for those behind-the-scenes people that make our church run smoothly. Council members and others were identified with name tag ribbons. Those inappropriate emails were returned via mail to sender
with a reminder how, as a church,we are called to love and treat each other.
Members were reminded/invited to meetings.The choir went into the Sunday Schools to sing with them. Periodically, members, committees, classes, choir, thanked the boards and others for their work. A book of blessings, cookies at a meeting, a card......
Turned to our neighbor and said "Please forgive me for the pain I have caused to others, knowingly and unknowingly";the response is "You are a child of God and loved. Go forward with God's grace."
CONNIE SANDSTROM
How do we take GS back to Plymouth?
Invite Pat Hughes to return and work with boards and/or larger congregation on particular issues
Devote more time in board and otherwise to practicing GS
Create communities of conversation with in our institutional life around topics that are meaningful
Fellowship Hour “Table Topics”… different topics at a each table to mix folks up
One-on-one with individuals I know or Boards I serve on
It takes a conversation done over and over to sink in
Meaningful exchange in small groups
“institutional? Learning in public
Website? Vehicles for personal sharing like smaller faith journeys, write-ups of “aha” moments breakthroughs
As individuals, put our learning into practice and support each other in doing so
Be role models of GS
I was wondering….
Yes, and….
Name it! ______is going to be an issue with strong feelings!
Recognition
1. safety
2. …but this will be controversial
when decision reached, 2 way conversation
Track what’s happening
Do we need outgoing members committee?
How do we learn from the strangers we have created?
How to stop talking about people, start talking to/with them?
Preserve all Sheets
Personal intolerance for old patterns
Monthly round tables, facilitated by Pat, initially to formalize the process, initiate the habit
Identify a clear a point of which the work belongs Interim minister, Tom Stiers!)
Form new GS covenant group from new members
Add GS techniques to New Members Group
GS – incorporate into N Sid Sen week
If we go overboard applying GS as a group process without thinking of it in our own individual terms and applying it to ourselves, we risk it being just phony baloney
YF covenant as example
New check in questions
Then, “ how are we doing? How’s your spirit today?
Take GS to Plymouth groups
10 mins.
Conscious work
Go deep, but it stays in the group
Give YF opportunity to teach us observe and give feedback
Develop list of coffee hour questions
Take GS within you wherever you are
The “strange” in stranger – mental health folks
For groups: remember that most people are not on Boards. How is this developed with folks not in board/groups?
In personal connections ask questions differently and try to help the other feel comfortable with the deeper questions
Where are we asked (or how we ask) our stories?
Individual roles too. Doing this as a duty will mean it will not real or be powerful for others who weren’t here.
Group truth telling to each other despite fear of conflict, tension and possible negative outcome
Trust – assume good intentions
Flocking behavior
Facilitation of dialogue
One format doesn’t fit all people
Different formats allow more people to experience growth
June 7 Alcohol Policy Meeting needs to be held in Gracious Space
Conversation café on regular basis ( round tables) within 2 weeks of now.
Forming the question
10:00 Hour not necessarily the best
Plymouth U? After noon? IBM Parking restriction
Need to expand IBM parking time for future meetings regarding gracious space
Café
Small neighbor group
Mothers group – parents of young children?
Quilt-piecemakers
Boards
Horizon House
Bring in 3rd party
Try to practice GS and model it
Making time for open conversations
Making conversations well known
“world Café” around difficult issues
More, continued training
Take more individual responsibility
BE THE DUCK
(FROM THE GRACIOUS SPACE NOTE PAD @ PILGRIM FIRS)